Wow. TV just died a little for me.
I confess: I stopped watching the Emmys. It was shortly after Tina Fey won (yay!) and some idiot announced that I should “love TV and fear the Internet.”
But honestly, I’d been offended for quite a while before Sonnenfeld’s crack. And my other confession is that I love television, particularly the crappy reality type, and the shows that are constantly overlooked and undervalued by the Emmys and the ratings types, like “Buffy” and “Arrested Development” and “Sports Night” before that and, heaven help me, “Jericho.” So, I’m predisposed to oppose the Academy. That’s America.
But this! This parade of calcification, this Piven’s-second-win sleepwalking, this revolting attempt to re-create the glory days of “Laugh-In” (really? Is this the Emmy demographic? What am I doing here?) and “remedy” past sins by offering up a lamely presented, lamely conceived, and embarrassingly received “we suck” emmy to Tommy Smothers, even as TV serves up worse dreck and more castrated drivel than it possibly ever has … this was downright gross. I mean, my god. Josh Groban was the highlight, and I’ll tell you, I was not expecting that.
And lest I sound like a neo-Republican … the sexism of this charade! It is truly astonishing. Five reality hosts hosting the show and the best they can come up with for a bit is a Heidi Klum strip-tease? Seriously? And oh, hey, look, the “Desperate Housewives” bitches are still such bitches, all these years later! Isn’t that hilarious how they all hate each other because women are such bitches? I admit, my tone might also be colored by the stupendously witty pre-show, featuring Jimmy Kimmel slobbering in musical style all over Salma Hayek, because women aren’t worth talking to unless they’re hot and apparently men aren’t worth talking to unless they’re hot, either! It’s a gross-out two-fer!
And then these oblique references, and blatant references, in the case of Sonnenfeld, to how the Internet is making things so much harder for television are, honestly, anything but pity-inspiring. You know what you can do to counter the effect that the Internet has had on television viewership? Be better than the Internet. You can probably pull it off, if you put even the tiniest bit of money and talent into it. Try, just try for one second, one day, one season, to actually pay attention to the sea change that’s happening in modern culture and put just a smidgen of your energy into attempting to hear it and understand it, instead of acting like nostalgia-drunk old dickheads who can’t see past a chasm of cleavage and insider Hollywood jokes.
Stop telling six million people that their show isn’t worth keeping (”Jericho”). Stop trying to get me to watch the endless and indistinguishable parade of overly scripted, patronizing, gender-stereotype ridden sitcoms you pump at me every single season. Stop kicking shows like “Arrested Development” off the air, stop giving Jeremy Piven Emmys, and most of all, stop pretending that I don’t exist. Hey, you, television. Can you hear us? We’re the millions of people who are on the Internet instead of watching this crap, and you’d be wise to throw us a bone once and a while, because at some point, we’re going to be all you’ve got left. It’s really great that you’ve caught the snap with “Daily Show,” “Colbert,” and “30 Rock”, but you’ve got a lot to make up for, know what I’m sayin’?
I agree one hundred percent. However, the internet can be such a giant echo-chamber sometimes. I’m afraid the industry might never have a decision-maker with an ear to the ground.
My personal agenda for the television industry: Pay some advisers, and then pay some attention!
WoW, Go Molly !~!
I agree, as soon as the TV world start listening they may stop the drain of viewers to the net.
Fat chance though.
Well written, and I can feel the anger in your writing.
If I might contribute my two cents to this robust, cogent critique of the inanity of television and the almost incomprehensible narrow-mindedness of those who are in charge of it: you, Molly Wood, are fucking awesome.
Yes, yes, yes, in so many ways.
Too bad you stopped watching because when 30 Rock won best comedy (Hell to the yeah) Tina Fey pimped her show hard in the acceptance speech and started by saying they are on “NBC.com, Hulu.com, iTunes and sometimes even on the TV still”. I think her team along with Colberts and Stewarts and a few other shows get our Demographic and perhaps even smell the change in how its all done.
I agree though, the Nielsen ratings have f**ked us over one too many times. The loss of Jericho is something I get upset at every time I catch a rerun on Universal HD. And I feel like starting a way cry that NPH have won his nomination just because of the awesomness that is Dr Horrible.
My thoughts exactly. The only time I turn on my TV anymore is to watch a DVD. If I want to watch something that was aired recently, I go straight to the internet. They don’t even try with commercials anymore.
Actually, I also turn on my TV to watch my Dolphins lose every week, though I was spared this time.
Ummm, you know, in the good shows… could you at least mention one of ours (that we didn’t cancel!) Thanks- CBS
All kidding aside- great rant, completely agree. I think it’s shows that embrace both cultures are the ones we’ll see get the audiences: just about anything by JJ Abrams, Heroes, Battlestar, etc. Just have to wait for the “old folk” to retire or die off and allow some people who understand about these tubes we call the in-ter-nets.
I think one of the smartest things network TV could do is follow the lead set by cable TV. They really should think about rebroadcasting their prime time lineup after the news and late shows are over.
Sure people have DVRs in their homes that have two tuners, but for some people that’s not enough. If they aired prime time again then that would surely help the overall ratings of some shows. If nothing else it could help introduce some shows that are on the bubble to people that haven’t seen it.
Well put! My reaction was a bit less intense. I think you love TV more, so this drew a stronger reaction. Still I found it embarrassing how feebly self congratulatory the show was. I just kept surfing by because I couldn’t bear to watch for long. It struck me as a pageant of dinosaurs giving feel-good awards to each other, reminiscing about the good old days – before competition – and clearly avoiding two subjects: their impending extinction, and how to evolve to perhaps avoid this fate.
I felt sad more than angry at fossils like Sonnenfield. Apparently he sees a future without him in it. With that mindset, it’s sure to be self-fulfilling.
I see that a lot these days, especially from people in upper management who seem to spend their time checking the status of their golden parachutes instead of trying to pull the business out of the death spiral so they won’t need them.
TV is just one old-guard media industry that doesn’t understand the Internet & therefore blindly fears it.
I only wish they could have had Ted Stevens on the Emmys to explain the Internet to the crowd.
If there’s one thing these folks GET – it’s tubes.
Well put. I so wish we got Hulu (or even decent cable TV) down under.
Nailed it girlfriend! And THAT is just another reason that I want to be Molly Wood when I grow up.
The networks need to stop programming to the lowest common denominator….Embrace the tail, people – Embrace the tail!
Hear, hear. Well put. ‘Nuff said. Hey Molly, doesn’t a major TV outlet own that place you work these days? Ooh, you’re gonna get detention or something for blaspheming the boss’s gig. . .
I agree. These days I find myself spending less and less time watching TV. I watch more and more podcasts -because face it there is more “there” there. There are podcasts in much larger numbers and better variety. Podcasts entertain me, they don’t bore me, probably becuase I can watch exactly what I want, when I want and down to the type of show I want to watch. (Yeah I have a DVR, but still.) They don’t (mostly) have so many commercials that 1/2 an hour of TV = about 20 minutes of actual programming.
There are lots of reasons not to watch TV, and I am using every one of them.
THAT was awesome. Thank you for making my day.
We left the US about 4 yrs ago. I’ve been back twice and both times, I never have time to watch enough TV to judge, but I will say that we watch plenty of US based TV, all via the internet, all with clarity and w/o commercials. And almost all from HBO and SHO.
Combine this with Video/Podcasts and I wonder why people still watch the networks. Maybe for sports, but why else?
Maybe mainstream will wake up and they’ll realize where the good stuff is.
Amazing. Love it.